is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
