when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
