I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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