Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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