So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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