weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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