I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
