you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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