am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
