No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
