This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
