I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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