I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize