My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
