Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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