They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
