IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
