I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
