Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
