you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I AM VODKA MAN
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
