babies were throwing up all over the place
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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