This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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