I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize