I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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