so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
