so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
