It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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