i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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