Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
