From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
