I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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