Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
