The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
