Old men and throwing up are my life now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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