I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
