The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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