I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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