I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
