Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
