Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
