so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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