From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
