just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
