Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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