so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
