Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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