so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
