i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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