Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
