thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
