Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
