Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
