my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
