no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize