Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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