So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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