there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just high enough for therapy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
