Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
