when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
