I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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