Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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