Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
