Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
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She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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