margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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